Hold on to your butts!
Here is a brand new song for you. It’s called “Mister Crow”. It is inspired by my respect for crow beef. Crow beef is the best kind of beef.
This is the eleventh track off my latest album One In A Row.
I think you will like it. Give it shot! It’s only two minutes long. Go ahead and hit that play button right meow! I can wait.
There are a lot of crows in my neighborhood. I see them on my walks. They’re always flying around, or bouncing up and down on the sidewalk, or chewing on some potato chips, or just sitting on a fence or a wire. They look menacing. Sometimes they bark at me but for the most part we get along just fine.
I’m wise enough to know not to fuck with a crow. Otherwise the crow will fuck with you. I don’t want to end up on a crow’s bad side. Crows have crow friends and they all talk to each other. Being on one crow’s bad side is the equivalent of being on every crow’s bad side.
I used to work in downtown Seattle. My office was right next door to the sculpture park. I’d walk past it every day on my way in to work. That’s when they’d strike. There was a good two month span one summer where I was declared crow enemy numero uno by the crow nation. Every day was relentless dive bombs at my head with a tornado of wings, claws, and beaks. It was terrifying. I would run. I would scream.
I don’t know what I did to piss off the crows that summer. I would argue that I didn’t do anything. I was just walking there minding my own business. Others would argue that I must have done something. Why else would they be so aggressive? At any rate, those crows hated me therefore I hated them right back.
At some point they changed their mind about me. The daily tormenting stopped. Not sure why the crows had a change of heart but I was relieved.
Despite being terrifying in the moment, I now look back at my crow beef experience fondly. When it comes down to it, the barrage of daily crow attacks were kind of thrilling. They brought some much needed excitement to my otherwise stupid boring life.
I really had nothing else going on at the time. It was wonderful to have a real-life nemesis to keep me occupied. Something I could rely on to spice things up. Maybe the crows were fully aware of this. And maybe they weren’t attacking me for no reason after all. Crows are smart. They know things. And not just crow things. They know people things too. So maybe they were attacking me to help me.
My hat is off to you, Mister Crow. Nothing but mad respect for you and your army of crow brothers. Until we meet again…
Bonus Song Nugget #1
New Plugin
One of my new year’s resolutions this year was not to purchase any new audio production plugins. I lasted seven months before that resolution went down the toilet.
I bought a plugin Metric AB from Plugin Alliance. It allows you to compare the song your working with reference tracks. Most times when I’m mixing a song I have no idea how good it stacks up against other professionally recorded tracks. Now I can easily switch back and forth between my song and the reference songs, to see how I’m doing and check to see how far off I am from my targets.
The reference track I used for “Mister Crow” was “The Mollusk” by Ween.
This video is awesome, by the way.
Bonus Song Nugget #2
My Real Life Nemesis
“Life is more fun with a nemesis”
I have a nemesis. Her name is Amy and she is the worst. She’s always going around being mean to me and foiling my plans for no good reason. Worst of all she thinks she’s better at volleyball than me which is not true.
I drew a picture of her. Look at how dumb she looks and how mean she is (especially compared to me, also pictured below).
If you see her out there wandering around being mean, do not approach her. Do yourself a favor and run away!
Bonus Song Nugget #3
Drum Machine Goodness
I’m loving the way the drums sound on this song. Especially proud of the drum fills I programmed. Simple yet effective.
All of the drum samples are from Tamuz Reel Drums sample pack. Highly recommend, they sound awesome.
——
Mister Crow
by Mike Votava
hello mister crow
your feathers have stories to tell
fantastic adventures of flying through hell
I’ve fallen for your magic spell
hello mister crow
the sidewalk is your second home
barking a warning so everyone knows
to leave your black feathers alone
pocket full of peanuts
you deserver everyone my old friend
life is more fun with a nemesis
so I hope you’ll attack me again
hello mister crow
I don’t think you’d make a good pet
I know you well and I’m willing to bet
you’re evil ten thousand percent
hello mister crow
no stranger to unpleasant thoughts
my face is the target
you’re coming in hot
dive bombing with all that you got