I get dressed almost every day.
A few days ago I realized that I put my clothes on one item at a time, in order of covering my most embarrassing parts to covering my least embarrassing parts.
That order looks like this:
- Underwear (naughty bits, most embarrassing parts)
- Socks (feet, least embarrassing parts)
I thought it would be fun to try getting dressed in reverse embarrassment order, starting with covering my least embarrassing parts first, and then moving on to my most embarrassing parts. It seems easy enough.
Socks, got it. Here comes the shirt, no problem. Pants, it’s your turn now, easy peasy. Underwear…
The underwear is where you run into problems. You’ve only really got two options.
Option 1: put on your underwear over your pants.
By doing this your pants now become your underwear (since it’s underneath), and what was once your underwear ceases to be underwear under these new conditions, becoming something new entirely, of which I don’t have a name for (if you know what this is called, let me know).
Option 2: don’t put on any underwear
This will allow you to comply with dressing in reverse embarrassment order. However, it is a bold option and not for everyone. Don’t attempt option 2 unless you consider yourself to be an “advanced dresser”.
Option 3: (secret bonus option) put your underwear on your head.
This way, assuming your head is less embarrassing than your naughty bits, you can get dressed in reverse embarrassment order while still wearing ALL your clothing items. Before you do this you’ll need to determine where your head ranks on your embarrassing body parts list.
Are your feet (or any of your other parts) more or less embarrassing than your head? It’s up to you to decide. If you’re having trouble figuring this out, try doing some research at your local library. You could also try asking your doctor, they’ll know what to do!
And there you have it!
Please note that this article is not intended for women. I know nothing about women. I especially don’t know about how women dress themselves or which of their parts (if any) they find embarrassing.