Most people agree that Christmas is a thing that happens.

I think Christmas is OK. Back when I had a job I used to love getting the day off work. That was one of my favorite things about my old job.

Speaking of Christmas, do you know that I make my own Christmas gifts? Well, I do. I make my family homemade gifts using my arts and farts and crafts skills.

During a typical Christmas season, I would go to the Seattle Goodwill and buy a bunch of random picture frames with the photos still in them. Then I cut and paste (analog style) photos of my face onto the photos to make the best presents ever! I’d make one for each family member, which means I would have to make a ton of stupid presents every year. My family would either love them, or hate them, or think the gifts are dumb. I honestly can’t tell. My family is a hard bunch to read.

I didn’t get to do that this year because Christmas was canceled due to the goddamm pandemic. I guess I could have technically still made gifts but I’m too afraid to go to the store, so I didn’t. Plus I’m broke and can’t afford much extra fun stuff right now.

I can’t show you photos of this year’s gifts (because they don’t exist.) However, I can show you photos of last year’s gifts. Hot dog!

Here they are! (At least most of them. It doesn’t look like they are all there. I must have forgotten to photograph some. Oh well, what are you gonna do?)

Warning: After you see these gifts you’re going to wish that you were related to me.

Enjoy!