I made a new song called “Do Not Be Afraid”.
I’ve got to level with you. This song is complete nonsense. It’s not about anything. And it doesn’t make any sense.
But you know what? Who gives a fart. It’s got words. It’s got parts. It’s got singing. There are some drums happening. It’s a song.
If you don’t think it’s a song, then you can fuck right off. That’s what I think.
I for one know for a fact that it is a song. And I should know. I know all the facts. I’m like the “Guitar George” of facts.
I hope you like the song.
Bonus Song Nugget #1
This Is One Of The First Songs I’ve Ever Written
I started playing the guitar somewhere around the 9th grade or so. We are talking 1993 here. It should be no surprise that I wasn’t very good at it (I’m still not good at it). But I was good at making nonsense. And sometimes nonsense is just what the doctor ordered.
I remember my friend Tim was singing some stupid song about a skeleton.
I stole the lines from that song. Combined them with lines about the game we were obsessed with at the time (Magic The Gathering). Added every chord I knew (Am E D C). And wallllllla. I had a verse of a song.
I have no idea where the chorus came from…
Do not be afraid of the mosquitos in my grave
Most likely it came from my ability to make nonsense, which is probably my superpower, BTW.
The second verse is obviously a Terminator reference.
Robots traveling through time
And even more obviously, the second have of the second verse is a direct quote from The Running Man, AKA the greatest movie ever invented
Here is Sub-zero
Now Plain Zero
Bonus Song Nugget #2
This Song Took Me Way Longer Than You Think It Did/Should
When I started, my goal with this song was to make something dumb and stupid so it would be “OK” if the song turned out dumb and stupid. I was looking for something quick that I could record, without worrying about the “quality” of the song.
Then I started recording it and my original plan flew out the basement window.
As it turns out:
1 – this song grew on me. I started to like it way more and started to care way more
2 – it’s really fun to record music
I got lost in the process. What started out as a “quickie” project took me all godddammm weekend. I’m not complaining. I quite enjoyed myself. It’s just a good reminder that things that you care about will ALWAYS take way longer than you think they should. That’s just how it works.
For example, “Do Not Be Afraid” has a bongo track. I played the bongos for this song. To no one’s surprise, I fucking suck at the bongos. I literally played fifteen takes of the bongos for this song. Side note for all the producers out there: Oh, you haven’t lived until you have to decide which of fifteen bongo takes is the least crappiest.
Anyhow, the song is almost two minutes long. If my bongo math is correct (and it always is), that means I played the bongos for thirty minutes to record a stupid two-minute piece of music. Wow. Think about that for a second. Quantify that across every instrument, guitar, bass, keyboards, singing, backup singing etc.
And holy shit! That’s why this shit takes forever. Plus add in all the time it takes for the setup of microphones and engineering and mixing and farting around…. At least it’s fun. We’re talking really really fun. I highly recommend it.
Bonus Song Nugget #3
Is Anybody Listening?
I think that’s a real question worth considering. Does anyone ever actually listen to the music that I make? I have no idea. I would hope that somebody is listening. But I don’t know.
I tell myself it shouldn’t matter. But it does. I personally know that I need an audience of some kind. It help me make stuff. Even if it’s just one or two people, I need to know that somebody is paying attention. I’m not proud of it. I wish it didn’t matter to me. But it does.
So, if you are listening, I’d like to say thanks… I couldn’t do this without you. It sounds cheesy but it’s the motherfucking truth.
Bonus Song Nugget #4
I am sleepy and I am going to bed. Hamburger night.
Do Not Be Afraid
by Mike Votava
Do not be afraid
do not be afraid
do not be afraid of the mosquitoes in my grave
All my magic cards are gone
long white bones with the flesh all gone
all my magic cards blown away
long white bones that look OK
Robots traveling through time
their mission has been well defined
keep your hands off my burrito
here’s sub-zero now plain zero